Really Starting to Freak Now!!

So here it is… The time is finally arriving… In less than 48 hours I will officially be a college freshman!

At 38!

I feel so weird, so unsettled because even though I knew I was doing this, that I had up-ended my whole life as I knew it in order to do this, it was still something that was coming. Now that it’s here, it’s really starting to sink in and I am scared like crazy!

But I am not going to let it affect me. I can’t let it affect me.

People go to school every day. Even older people like me.

Of course, the older people are probably mostly the professors! :-)

I’m just kidding, of course. I know for a fact I am not the oldest person going back to school for the first time. But the difference is that they are not me. Everyone is unique, and will go through their own experiences, and I am sure some of them even have gone through the self-doubt I feel right now.

And this may sound like a selfish thing to write, but they are not me. When you start to feel the self-doubt, it’s all about you. This means that my self-doubt is mine. It cannot be truly shared with anyone, no matter how similar the situation might be that another person has experienced.

But as I stated earlier, I am not going to let it affect me. I am going to totally internalize all of this and just get it all going, take my classes and become the best student I can possibly be, because I know that once I actually start the classes I will be just fine.

It’s just going to be a little dicey for the next few days. That’s all! :-)